MAKING A COMMITMENT: THINKING ABOUT NEW RELATIONSHIPS
It can be particularly difficult for someone who has been in a relationship for many years. A woman in her late fifties said, ‘My husband left over five years ago and I have been on my own ever since. Earlier this year I met a man through some mutual friends and we started seeing each other regularly. It may seem a bit silly at my age but I am thinking about having sex with him. I know he is interested. Obviously I don’t need to worry about contraception anymore but I have heard about it being important to use condoms these days. Trouble is, I have never seen one and I am too embarrassed to go into a shop and buy them.”
Thinking about new relationships after years with the one partner can be nervewracking. It’s not just the safer sex issues but the etiquettes of dating, and the skills that go with getting to know another person intimately. People in this situation know how Rip Van Winkle must have felt. Facing decisions and social situations for the first time in decades would be like emerging from a time machine.
This can be doubly difficult if you don’t have a trusted and respected friend or family member to talk to. For both men and women it is hard to admit to ignorance or relative inexperience.
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