Tuesday, December 02, 2008

And To Think, I Was In A Great Mood This Morning.

I fucking hate Tuesdays.

Posted by amy t. @ 03:57 PM in • Bitchfest · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Home Stretch

While the two wownies, one beer, and half bottle of mead I had yesterday probably really hindered me, as of yesterday morning I officially entered the home stretch - the final 15.  I will be really good this week, try my hardest next weekend (I’m attending a bachelorette party at a mexican restaurant - endless chips and margaritas will be a definite challenge to avoid), and behave until my birthday.  Whether or not I reach my goal set by the weight loss clinic, I am pretty satisfied with how I’ve done.  I’ve worked hard.  I’ve proved to myself that eating a meal at home every night is not as difficult as I tend to make myself believe.  I’ve only eaten two meals from a drive through that didn’t consist of salad only.  I had one McD’s hamburger when I was sick and one chicken ranchero soft taco.  I’ve discovered the joys of frozen vegetables.  I’ve learned the steps to take so that when I do splurge I can get back on track and minimize the damage to my waistline. 

And this week I bought my new birthday dress.  It’s a size 12.  In fact, everything I tried on was a 12.  Even the last time I lost lots of weight (I was even a few pounds below where I am now), I only fit into one 12.  It was a pair of jeans.  I tried on jeans in a 12 that were too big a couple of weeks ago.  I feel fantastic in my dress, and it makes me look teeny.  It definitely shed light on the fact that my current wardrobe isn’t doing me any favors.  The difference between how I look in my old clothes and how I look in clothes that are actually the right size is amazing.  Today I walked by a shop window and when I watched my reflection walking by, I hardly recognized my own ass.  That may sound stupid, but I couldn’t believe the difference. 

I want to lose about four more pounds.  Eight would be awesome, but four will make me extremely happy.  That will put me at 40 pounds.  That’s right.  I’m 36 pounds down.  And I feel fucking great.

Posted by amy t. @ 02:22 PM in • Just Eat It · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Monday, November 24, 2008

I Can't Think Of A Title. Eh, It's Monday. Who Cares?

This was a good weekend.  Attended an artist reception with Pants downtown.  Had a total awesome moment at a totally inopportune time when I realized that all of my dress clothes are too big.  WAY too big.  I broke my plateau at the weight loss clinic and hit 35 pounds.  I’ll be up a bit today (it was a very early morning weigh in and I cheated several times Saturday), but the moment was still great.  I spent the whole day Saturday supporting local artists.  I even contributed to Sarah’s square, which was rad.  I made a necklace for my mom for Christmas that I think she may actually wear.  I polished my mom’s silver and made $20.  I went grocery shopping with her and bought all of the items for our diet-friendly Thanksgiving - something my family is doing in a show of support that totally floors me.  So yeah.  Good weekend.

Followed by another crap morning.  Mornings have been conspiring against me for almost a week.  There were several bad days last week, Saturday I was running late and as I was running out the door I knocked a bottle of True Lemon powder off the counter - without the cap on.  Yesterday I ran in and out of the house about five times before I finally remembered everything I needed to bring to Kingwood.  Woke up late again today, nearly forgot to take my diet pills, got to the car and remembered I’d forgotten to eat my breakfast.  And that bone at the top of my back, right before my neck, feels like someone slammed me into a brick wall.  I hope that isn’t an indication I’m going to get sick.  I wasn’t really looking forward to today, but luckily a few blogs cheered me up.

I’ve pimped Mary Beth Ellis here before.  She’s a SMC alumna and she cracks me up.  For example, from Totally Out of Context Sports Quote Week, she brought me laughs with, “When I’m bending down, I’m making sure my buttocks are pressing to the outside.” And this morning, when I totally feel like self-inducing a coma that will let me sleep through January, she brought me this gem:

From “Mocha Truffles”:

“Dip balls, one at a time, into chocolate.”

Thanks, fellow SMCCHK. 

Also, a special shout out to DrunkBrunch, who got “What, what in the butt” in my head so early.  I’m now alternating between the original lyrics, and that of a subway rider she encountered this weekend.

And finally, a heartfelt thanks to Pants, for not only including me in what, to her, was one of the biggest days of her life, but for telling me how she didn’t think she’d have made it through without me.  Sometimes, the greatest things a friend can say to you are things they say without even realizing how much those things will mean to you.

Posted by amy t. @ 08:36 AM in • Evaporated • Imitation of Life · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Friday, November 21, 2008

Public Service Announcement

I have discovered the greatest invention the internet has ever seen.  In an age where using your credit and debit cards comes with a growing risk of having your information stolen, this product is brilliant!  I had fraudulent activity on my debit card last week, and Pants had her account cleaned out.  Everyone I know has had someone get their credit or debit card information at some point.  Shit, I even had my PayPal account hacked once. 

Last week when I was trying to set up my etsy shop, I needed a credit card to open my seller account.  Unfortunately, I don’t have any credit cards at the moment, and my debit card was canceled and my new one hasn’t arrived yet.  So I did some digging.  And I discovered the PayPal Plugin.  If you shop online, download this.  NOW.  Here’s how it works…

The plugin allows you to go to a website and buy stuff.  Duh.  I know what you’re thinking.  “But MD - not every site accepts PayPal.” Worry not, dear readers.  The plugin allows you to GENERATE a card number.  The card number attaches to your PayPal funding source on the PayPal site, but the company you’re buying from sees a MasterCard number with no PayPal affiliation.  No merchant need ever get your real credit card number or bank information again.  If it’s a site you use often, you can generate a multi-use number, good for two years on that one site only.  If you’re mom wants something from Bob’s Baubles for Christmas, you can generate a one-time number just for that purchase. 

It took me a while to figure everything out and make it work (I think it’s well established that I’m a technotard), but it works brilliantly.  As God as my witness, I’ll never use my real credit card number again!

Posted by amy t. @ 08:55 AM in • For The Money • Imitation of Life · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Monday, November 17, 2008

I Am Officially Open For Business

I opened my etsy shop today.  I emailed nearly everyone I know with the link, but just in case you weren’t in my address book, you can click that link and get there.

Pants and I toyed with names, and while I really wanted to go with Stuff You Should Totally Buy Because I need Money, and I did quite like FeedMyVisa, I went with MbMD, for Made by MissDirected.  Simple.  Go look.  Comments, thoughts, or suggestions are appreciated on this one.

Thanks!

Posted by amy t. @ 03:47 PM in • For The Money • Imitation of Life · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Trading Up

So today we had our Thanksgiving feast at work.  On the diet front, I did ok.  I could eat the turkey, so that was fine.  I made and brought a serving of diet-friendly green bean casserole, which wasn’t nearly as good as the real thing, but was edible.  I also brought a slice of bread and a little low fat mayo so I could have a teeny turkey sammich and pretend it was on one of the delicious-looking buttery rolls that were served.  I had a few bites of stuffing, two bites worth of a chicken and asparagus casserole that was delish, and one bite of sweet potatoes.  Oh, and one teeny cheesecake bite.  Those came in little fluted paper cups and were about .75 inches square, so I figured that was my best bet on the dessert.  Only the basics are provided (turkey, stuffing, gravy, rolls), and employees sign up to bring side dishes.  Normally I bring my tasty au gratin potatoes, but since I couldn’t eat them I opted out.  Anyway, if you bring a dish or sign up to set up or clean up, your name goes into a drawing for a door prize.  I did set up AND cleanup, so I knew I had a good chance.  And I won!  I won a half day off with pay.

The dumbest thing I could have won. 

I’m salaried here, which means if I take a half day, I still get paid for the whole day whether I make up the time or not.  So see?  Dumb.  The whole day would have been cool (that went to Kizmo), since that’s an extra vacation day, but a half day was wasted on me.  The prize before that was a $50 gift card to a grocery store.  It’s an expensive grocery, but there is one right next to my weight loss place so I find myself popping in there for something at least once a week.  I was totally bummed I didn’t win that.  That is, at least, until my friend told me that the guy that won that prize was hourly.  So I did what I had to do - I offered a trade.  He feels like he got the much better end of this deal, but I think it was fair.  I went to Sam’s Club and bought 12 pounds of chicken and four pounds of ground turkey the other day, so other than fruit, bread, and maybe a few bags of frozen veggies, I don’t need many groceries over the next few weeks.  I’m finding that it’s the fruit that really fucks my budget.  Having to eat three servings of fruit every. single. day gets expensive.  Especially right now when it’s ALL APPLES! ALL THE TIME! and I hate apples.  I paid $2 for a grapefruit last week (S, please don’t get hives from that sentence).  And I go through four or five of those a week.  So yeah, I won’t need to spend my own money on groceries for the next few weeks, and that is totally worth giving up that half day.  Especially since I can just take the half day anyway.

Posted by amy t. @ 05:56 PM in • For The Money • Just Eat It · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Thirty to Thirty

So.  This is it.  The FI-NAL COUNT-DOWN! Sorry.  I can’t say those words without hearing them like in the song.  In 30 days, I will be 30 years old.  I’m trying not to think about it too much.  I mean, I’m doing what I can - I’ve reclaimed my finances (mostly) and am living 100% magical plastic credit card free.  I’m losing weight.  Am I at the 44 pounds I’m supposed to be at this week? No, but I’m down 32.5, so I’m not too upset.  In January, when I rejoined my gym, I told the guy I’d like to be at 160 by my birthday.  I’ve got 4 weeks and 12 pounds left, but if I don’t make it, I’m still hella proud of myself for what I’ve lost.  All of my clothes are too big, and this past weekend I fit into a size 12 jean, so I’m stoked.  Just like age, weight is just a number.  Or so I keep telling myself.  I’m also trying to declutter.  I cleaned out my closet and tried to really stick to giving away anything I hadn’t worn in the last year.  I boxed a bunch of clothes that have sentimental value, as well as some of my fat clothes, since I learned a while ago that just because you claim you’ll never need to wear those jeans again doesn’t mean it’s true.  I also boxed up some books and toys and such that I just can’t bear to part with, and they’re going into the garage at home for a time when I have more space.  When I get my new tv for my birthday/Christmas from my parents (wheeeeee!), I’ll probably lose the bookshelf in my living room, so I’m trying to condense. 

I think it’s fair to say that I am symbolically cleaning up the mess I made of my twenties, in hopes of something better for my thirties.  I only hope they’re everything I’ve heard they are.

Posted by amy t. @ 09:51 AM in • Evaporated • Imitation of Life • Just Eat It · (1) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Hell Fucking Yeah.

Yes. We. CAN!

Posted by amy t. @ 10:23 PM in · (1) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Friday, October 24, 2008

Just Say No, Kids

So last night a guy I work with came over to install the hood for my stove.  Best Buy just left it sitting in my living room, and then wanted over $100 to come do the install, so I asked my coworker, let’s call him Manny, to come help me out.  A little background on Manny.  We work near each other in the building, but don’t really have much cause to interact.  Back in April, he and several other guys were working late.  When they saw I was just heading home as they were heading out, they invited me out for beer.  I don’t think they believed I’d go, so imagine their surprise when I not only accepted, but guzzled beer, belched loudly, and cussed like a sailor.  They had NO idea I had a personality.  I keep my head down at work, so they were shocked.  The next day when I walked into a coworker’s crawfish party, I got lots of “we heard about YOU last night!” I was initially embarrassed, but then realized that I had finally become one of them.  Anyway, when I hadn’t heard from Manny by 7:30, I figured he’d forgotten and wasn’t coming last night.  So I made dinner, and then I made out with Janis in a big way.  About 20 seconds after my last inhale, my phone rings.  It’s Manny.  “I’m on my way right now!”

Oh. Holy. Fuck.

I wasn’t sure how Manny felt about water pipes or their contents, so I went into paranoid panic mode.  I hid Janis and all her accessories.  I remembered (at the last second) that there was underwear on my bathroom floor.  That quickly got put away.  I tried to call my best gal at work, to no avail, to find out his stance.  And I waited.  Squinty, red eyes and full of stupid giggles, I waited. 

When he arrived, with a friend in tow, I tried to play it cool.  Of course, in my mind I was thinking, “Am I really playing this off, or am I coming across as acting totally weird?” I guess I was doing okay, though, because Manny seemed totally surprised a few minutes later.  First, he used my bathroom (so glad I picked up the knickers!).  Then, he headed for the kitchen.  The first thing he did once he got into the kitchen was to open the cabinet above the stove.  He opened the right door, which was fine, because that’s where I keep Sophie’s special treats.  But as that door swung open in slow motion (at least to me), I suddenly remembered what was behind the left door.  I made a beeline for the living room trying to escape, knowing it was hopeless.  I hear a laugh, and then “NICE!” from the kitchen, and my face turns the deepest shade of red.

A moment later, Manny walks out of my kitchen.  “I’d like to know what kind of friends you’re hanging out with!” In one hand, he’s carrying my food scale, which I (seriously) use to weigh out my meat for my diet.  In the other hand?  Shiloh.  And then it all comes out - that I’d forgotten that was in there (call it a pot hole), and that I’d just finished partaking when he called.  While Manny doesn’t partake, he’s fine with it and finds the fact that I partake totally amusing.  His friend, however, was all, “I have a question for you… Can I have some?” So I dig out Janis and give him a bit.  And they both left with big grins on their faces.  I was terrified I’d come into work today and have to hear about it from coworkers, but thank god that’s a no. 

So he leaves, and I start to relax, and then I have to pee.  So I head into the bathroom and that’s when I see them - two pairs of my knickers in the trashcan next to the toilet.  Oh sweet Jesus.  They were both clean, and both torn (one pair basically fell apart from age and the other was a victim of my dryer), but both clearly visible.  And of course, just to give Manny even more to think about, the copy of The Quran that was left on my doorstep ages ago was sitting on the back of the toilet. 

You can’t make this shit up, folks. 

Posted by amy t. @ 01:10 PM in • Debauchery • For The Money · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Monday, October 20, 2008

Happier Than Elle Woods After The LSAT

179!!!!!!!

After weeks of fluctuating between the same two weights, I finally made a big jump down!  I’m now, as of this moment, officially at the half way point.  That’s right - 25 down, 25 to go.  The girl I love at the weight loss center even jumped up and did a happy dance with me. 

Today is a shit-hot day.

Posted by amy t. @ 01:07 PM in • Just Eat It · (3) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Friday, October 17, 2008

Odds & Ends

Ok.  I know I’ve been quiet this week.  It’s been hectic at work.  I am spending an oh-so-thrilling weekend trapped in a house with both my parents and an aunt I don’t particularly care for, so I will give the Wichita rundown over the weekend.  Think what you want about Wichita, but I have a fucking blast there every time I go.  And this time, I felt especially awesome, since I both a) have a good job and b) was one of the few people in the city without babies.

Anyway, time for some odds and ends.

On the diet front, things are a bit stagnant.  I have been floating between 181 and 183 for weeks.  I gain, I lose.  I gain, I lose.  I gained two in Wichita (impressive, considering how badly I ate), but I think today I may break 181.  We’ll see.  I’m out of town again this weekend, but I’m with my parents - who are well aware of my dietary constraints (seeing as they are paying for them) - so I should be okay.  I’ve made the decision that with the possible exception of Halloween, I am not going to go out to bars or restaurants for the remainder of my weight loss period.  I may pick up a grilled chicken salad from a drive-thru, but it’s too hard for me, personally, to go into a restaurant and go with the healthy option.  For anyone that cares, my gorgeous Guess shoes still sit in the closet unworn.

In gas news, gas prices have gone down 48 cents in the last week.  Last week I paid $3.07 a gallon.  One week later? $2.59.  That is one great fucking way to start a Friday, yo.  Especially since I was basically telling Coop I’d kill for gas prices that low when I was in KS. 

In case anyone was wondering, my site has been deemed “Tasteless” by Great Britain.  Helen emailed me to let me know my site was blocked from her office for tasteless content.  Lick my balls, Helen’s office!  Bet that’s tasty.

And finally, in news that probably doesn’t matter to anyone but myself, I have a photo that is being published by an Austin tourism group.  I’m not sure if it’s only online, or if they have a print edition, and I don’t care.  I’m still excited.  Oh.  Well… I just went to the site.  It is an online publication, and there are about 40 photos that rotate when you hover over Barton Springs Pool, but still… I’m one of them and I’m credited, and it links back to my flickr site.  So… GO ME!  You can wait patiently for my photo to appear if you go here, or you can just see the one that was picked by going here.

Well, okay.  I think that’s it from me for now.  I have some work to get done.  Peace out!

Posted by amy t. @ 08:20 AM in • Imitation of Life • Just Eat It • The Friday Files · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Friday, October 10, 2008

And I Will Think No More

Today, I leave for Wichita.  I’m totally excited.  Most of my friends would rather shove glass under their nails than spend a weekend in Wichita, but I always have a great time there.  Even Patman, though he hates to admit it, had fun when he spent time there.  (Yeah, that’s right.  I called your ass out.) I’ve decided that while I’ll stick to my diet (no fruits or starches will be consumed to account for the alcohol), I’m not going to stress too much.  I’ve had this weekend planned for a long ass time, and I’m going to enjoy it.  I’m packed and ready, which was a serious struggle.  I had no idea what to bring.  I practically had to try everything on to see how it fit because all of my clothes are fitting differently these days.  There were a few days last week when I had major exhaustion, which is normally a prelude to me getting sick.  I figured my body would fight it off until yesterday, then I’d come down with The Death just before my trip.  This time, however, my body had other ideas.

This will seem like a total tangent, but it isn’t.  Bear with me.  I have good skin.  I think that’s only fair, since I got all of the bad traits from each side of the family (bad teeth? Check.  Gigantic thighs that will NEVER slim down? Check.  Lank, limp hair? Check.  Okay, fine.  I got the big tits, but eventually those will rest near my belly button, so I think that’s a wash.) I wasn’t plagued with tons of zits growing up, and I tend to only get them the week before my period.  I’ve had some serious whoppers, and a couple that have left scars (mostly due to me refusing to leave them alone), but overall, I’ve survived my life without much of a problem.  So imagine my surprise Thursday night when I felt a big cluster of pimply bumps on my face.  And when I say cluster, I mean going from right above my nostril all the way to the underside of my chin, just along that line you get around your mouth when you smile.  It almost felt like a spider bite, if that gives you any indication of how many bumps we’re talking here.  By Friday morning, they were red.  By lunch they were itching.  And by evening it had spread.  Yup.  That’s right.  My body decided to give me a rash on my face.  ON. MY. FACE!  Nothing says sexy like itchy red bumps for public viewing. I took a Benedryl last night and luckily the areas that were spread to are pretty much non-existent today.  The main bump stripe is still there, but it’s much less red and itchy today, and it only extends down to around my lips.  Hopefully it will be gone by tomorrow. 

So I’m packed and ready, and to cap off my completely unproductive day at work (I really tried, I just couldn’t focus), I’m leaving at lunch.  I have to weigh in (something I’m not holding out much hope for), head home to get my bags and give Sophie a little love, and then I’m off to get a major hair cut before heading to the airport.  I think my hair is long enough to bob again, even if that means the back gets cut super short.  I’m more concerned about having length in the front for my cousin’s wedding in December, so that’s fine with me. 

I also dyed my hair last night.  Last year, I tried really, really hard to get a good chocolate brown.  Unfortunately, since my hair was red to start, I never could get one.  The red always won out.  So, since I’ve been blonde for a while now, I decided to do the brown first and then go back to red around my birthday.  I’m glad I went with Light Natural Brown, because it seems super dark to me.  Like, when I woke up this morning, I jumped when I looked in the mirror.  I’m not worried though.  The darkest bits are at the bottom (duh, where the most dye is), and those will get cut off today. 

So, in summary, I’m feeling pretty good, I’m excited, I’m getting my hair did, I think I look great (weight wise, even though I’m struggling like whoa right now), and I’m leaving work in five minutes.  Natalie, rest easy - there are five things in that list.  (Yeah, I called your ass out, too!)

Have a great weekend!

Posted by amy t. @ 11:03 AM in · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Great

I just arrived at the south pole work with rodeo pants and soaking wet shoes and socks.  There’s a good chance I’ll go home today with a lovely parting gift - pneumonia.

Posted by amy t. @ 07:11 AM in • Bitchfest • For The Money · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Monday, October 06, 2008

Heart

Sometimes, it’s something small that can totally make or break your mood.  After a frustrating and upsetting Friday, my Saturday proved lovely.  There was a long shopping trip, and at the end of it I bought a pair of shoes.  I fell in love with the little things in March.  I’ve been eying them ever since.  I told myself that I would treat myself to a pair of great shoes when I hit my halfway mark on the diet.  I’m not there yet, but I’m getting really close, so I bought the shoes.  I can’t remember the last time I got so excited over a piece of footwear.  Or any article of clothing, for that matter.  Would you care to see the new love of my life?

Posted by amy t. @ 04:29 PM in • Imitation of Life • Just Eat It · (1) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Friday, October 03, 2008

Pefect

I’m adderalled up, doing fucktard busy work.  I planned to cut out a bit early, but just found out my manager will be here til the bitter end of the day, and the show I was excited about seeing tonight just got cancelled. 

Happy fucking Friday.  Pass the bong.

Posted by amy t. @ 02:29 PM in • Bitchfest • The Friday Files · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·