Monday, August 18, 2008

Lighter

Well, today I hit my first real milestone with my diet.  Today, just 16 days after I started this program, I am down just over 10 pounds.  That’s 20% of my goal.  While 20% doesn’t seem like something to get excited about to some, it’s huge for me.  I’ve been struggling with my weight for more than half of my life, and it has never been easy - not even in the beginning.  I’m not one of those people who drops five pounds just because I switch from soda to water.  I’m not one of those that can really change my body just be changing my eating habits.  In the past, I’ve struggled for every tenth of a pound.  I have no doubt that eventually my pace will decrease.  Just from week one to week two I slowed down.  But I have never had weight loss seem so effortless to me.  Instead of thinking about how hungry I am, I’m worried about making sure I get all my food in.  Instead of stuffing my face with prepackaged, easy to fix crap, I’m eating fresh everything, and the only thing I’m worried about is whether I’ll eat all my broccoli and grapes before they have a chance to go bad.  While I used to be worried about credit card debt, I’m now worried about if I have enough money to buy the two pounds of chicken and 12 tomatoes I need this week (tomatoes are my favorite vegetable, and therefore make it easy to get in my four veggie servings a day).  I guess money is something everyone worries about, regardless of how their life may change. 

Because I’m supposed to lose all my weight over a relatively short amount of time, I’m trying really hard not to go shopping.  I can feel the loss in my clothes now.  A pair of jeans that usually fit my waist for the first few wears now need a belt right out of the dryer.  My bras are getting hooked tighter.  I’ve felt okay in clothing I haven’t worn in months.  And today, my shorts didn’t pop.  Whenever I weigh, I put on a pair of light weight khaki shorts from my clothing archives.  They have a snap closure.  Usually, when I put them on and then bend over to pick up my jeans, the snap pops open.  Today it stayed snapped.  I did a little dance of joy in the bathroom for that.  In another 5 or so pounds, my closet will be my shopping trip.  Before I started this diet, at least 60% of the stuff in my closet didn’t fit.  This weekend I tried on a skirt that I couldn’t button a few months ago.  It buttons now, and I could wear it, but I’d like a little more breathing room first.  My birthday pants from Pants will soon fit again.  So yeah, looking forward to that and trying not to shop.  But I’m a girl.  And I like to shop.  So this weekend I rewarded myself. 

I only spent $22.  I think that’s pretty good.  I got a shirt and a dress that will both fit me for a while, I think.  And I promised myself I wouldn’t wear either until I got past the first 10 pounds.  I actually think I might put the dress away until I reach 15.  That should only be another 10 days, at most, so I think that’s fair.  Rewarding yourself is a great motivator, and rewarding myself with clothing is much better than rewarding myself with food.  Although I will say this - I’ve already decided that in addition to the mass amounts of vodka I’ll probably drink in Dallas in a couple of weeks, I’m also going to allow myself a Steak and Shake burger.  And a small fry.  A decision I’ll probably regret, but it’s something I get to eat, what, once a year? 

So yeah, the diet is going great.  With the exception of the constant grocery shopping and cooking it feels pretty effortless, really.  And I’m happier with myself than I’ve been in a long time.  In April of 2007, I hired a personal trainer because i was miserable in my skin at 185 pounds.  Now, I’m ten pounds heavier than that, but because I can see the changes in my body already, I think I’ll probably throw a party at 185.  Okay, that’s a lie.  No party until 179, which will be 25 pounds.  At that point, I’m treating myself to a pair of Guess shoes that I try on every time I see them anywhere.  Anyway, now I think I’ll look awesome at 185, rather than like a beached whale.  It’s funny how weight is relative like that, I guess.

Posted by amy t. @ 01:00 PM in • Just Eat It · (2) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·