will i ever be drunk again?
Okay. Now I know you should never look a gift horse in the mouth, but… I’m getting tired of only drinking as much as my horse wants me to drink. I mean, I love Gordon. And he takes good care of me. He does have the occassional drunken asshole moments, in which he says something mean, unappropriate or something that just plain should be thought and not spoken. But these moments are few and far between, and lord knows I have my share of them as well.
So I feel really guilty (well, not really guilty, but kinda) about bitching about the amount of free drinks I get. I go to the pub whenever Gordon wants to go, because it is sacrilege to turn down free liquor. Last Saturday, on Donut’s last Saturday night, I was on my way to a healthy buzz when Gordon decided he needed to go home. As I have no money, I really had no choice but to leave as well. This is a decision I regret, as I missed a fun night of drunken debauchery with Donut. Forgive the alliteration. Twice this week we went pubbing after work. I had two drinks each time. So last night, I left work with a great bubble of happiness in me. Gordon and I were actually gonna stay at my house (which we never do) and I was gonna get sloppy and sappy.
It started well enough. My favorite bartender (we’ll call him Sports Fan) was working a double. YAY!!! The perfect gin-free Long Island. I had two. Two Goldschlaggers. And a 1/2 a screwdriver. I was well on my way to being the new Sauza Tequilla commercial. Lost: Inhibitions. Then…
"I want to go home.”
“EXCUSE ME???? Why? Why do you want to go home? I’m having fun. It’s only"--are you ready for this--"8 o’clock!!!!”
Oh well. I lost. We left. Went to mine. It wasn’t a total waste. We had a smoke and watched Charlie’s Angels. The first one. Gordon hadn’t seen it, and it was a cheap rental. We had lots of giggles, a little wrestling, fun puppy time, and some Lean Pockets (mmmm… meatball Lean Pockets). We were probably in bed by 10:30. And we were up by 8, which is why I’m writing this so unfeasibly early on a Saturday morning.
I am so lame.