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Kanye West sucks.
That is all.
Did you really think that was all? Because if you did I am laughing at you right now. Anyway, save your money - don’t purchase Kanye tickets. He sucks live. Somehow, that just sounds dirty in my head, but you know what I mean.
1. While he raps okay, he often gets lazy and just holds the mic out to the audience. For long stretches of time. Fine if you’re front and center, but when you are faaaaaaar away from the stage, you can’t hear all those front row people singing, so you get long stretches of silence.
2. When he sings, he uses more voice synthesizers than Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. This is for good reason - the one time all night he sang in his real voice, he was off key. When you’re off key singing your own damn song, that’s pretty bad.
3. His whole show is scripted. Big dramatic scenes of him sitting looking forlorn and speaking to his only friend, Jane. Of course, Jane is a computerized voice that is some part of his spaceship, which has crash landed on a foreign planet.
4. The stage consisted of: one big screen, on which there were some computerized graphics (for serious, the start of the show was that Windows screen saver that makes it look like you’re moving forward in the night sky), one slightly raised platform that had an angled bit at the side (sorta like this ____/) that he needed for those previously mentioned forlorn sitting bits, the voice of Jane, and Kanye. That’s it. No back up dancers, no special effects. Just Kanye. I’m sorry, but while his ego may be big enough to fill a stadium, his stage presence isn’t big enough to pull that shit off.
5. He appeared to be wearing puffy pants (Sarah - jodhpurs are horse riding pants, so I was wrong, but still think it’s an excellent word), but upon closer inspection of flickr photos, I think he had a shirt around his waist. Still, for giving me the illusion of puffy pants, that makes my list.
6. He threw a temper tantrum because the stage’s side screens weren’t working. I mean, straight up sucker in the dirt. Left the stage and everything. I don’t really remember that happening, but it did, so it goes in this list of why you shouldn’t pay to see him.
7. Did I mention the size of the man’s ego?
So yeah. Save your money folks. Personally, I feel like the reason he never wins those awards he always rants that he deserves is because the people who make those choices have seen him live. And not just live at an awards show for one song, but live, on his own, for a couple of hours. I’d give my vote to someone else, too.