Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Few Notes To The Universe

Dear Mother Nature,

Any time you want to end the rain, go right ahead.  It’s been raining for days.  It’s supposed to rain every day for another week.  While I appreciate the fact that it gave me another opportunity to wear my wellies today, I’m still way, way, WAY over the rain.

There’s no Noah here, so please move along.

Let the sunshine in,

MissDirected

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Dear Sam’s Club,

I love you so.  Only there can one go in empty handed and come out with 20 pounds of various meats for not much over $50.  Not only that, but 20 pounds of meat jammed into a box for Degree deoderant.  People at work think I’m crazy now.

GO MEAT!

MissDirected

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Dear Thursday,

For the love of all that is good, please speed the fuck up.  I’m so ready to be out of here.  I have bitchin’ Friday Syndrome, due in large part to the fact that this place is like a freaking ghost town this afternoon.  Hardly anyone is here.  I’ve finished my manual for this week and really am not ready to start the next one - one ENGINEERS described as being horribly written.  If they think it’s bad, my head might explode when I try to read it.  So please?  Pretty please?  Speed up and make it 6 already so I can go home?

I now have Jack McFarland imitating Cher singing “If I Could Turn Back Time” in my head,

MissDirected

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