Friday, May 16, 2008

Continuing The FUN!

So this morning I’m standing outside our company president’s office talking to his assistant, who I love dearly.  And we start talking about our new summer schedule and how it means really long days four days a week.  Wait.  Let me back up or this won’t make sense. 

During several weeks of my silence on this site, I was busting ass on some studies our company was hired by the Air Force to write.  Engineers, as a group, are not great writers, and they love to create their own wacky formatting styles.  The shortest of these reports was 60 pages, the longest 140.  I had four days for each report to read, edit, format, and ship.  This might not have been a big deal, except that I don’t particularly understand Air Force facilities and the equipment used in them, nor do I understand mechanical or electrical engineering in any way.  You can understand why it may take me a while to plod through one of these reports.  There were three over three weeks.  The last one, 119 pages long, I got Wednesday at 4:00 and it shipped Friday at 7.  I clocked 162 hours in three weeks, which if you’re keeping track is 42 extra hours.  I worked from home until late (midnight was considered an EARLY night) almost every night.  I functioned on adderall, iced tea, and Applebee’s lunches (ours by work is never that crowded and I could spread out my stuff on a big table and be left alone for editing).  After it was all over, I sent thank yous to the two head guys I did the editing for to thank them for letting me work on the project and telling them how much I enjoyed it (I really did - it was nice to use my brain in ways my college education intended for once).  My manager and VP also got thank yous for lending me out to the engineering department.  Nobody responded to me at all.

So.  Back to the point.  Summer hours, long days, blah blah blah.  I start bitching that nobody said anything to me at all - no “Good Job!” or “Thanks for your help!” Then we moved on.  At 11, I got a summons to the president’s office.  My stomach dropped.  When I got to the cracked door, I could see my manager sitting inside.  My stomach took up residence somewhere around my knees.  When I pushed open the door, I was met by the president, my manager, my VP, the marketing VP and the contracts manager (those last two are the guys that got thank yous).  I stepped on my stomach as I walked through that door. 

Turns out, I got an award.  I got a nice memo from the president saying how I’d gone above and beyond and how lucky our company is to have an employee such as myself.  I got a copy of an email full of praise from the contracts manager, who I worked most closely with, that was sent to HR and the president upon completion of the project.  And I got a nice bonus check, which couldn’t have come at a better time, since I’m going traveling and need some extra spending cash!  WOOOOOOO! BONUS CHECK!

As I get back to my desk and IM my girls and call my folks, I read my award.  Proving what I said about engineers, it reads:

In Recognition and Appreciation of
the significant contribution made by
MissDirected
is awarded the 911 Award.

Gotta love engineers.

Posted by amy t. @ 10:20 AM in • For The Money · (2) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Fun Fun FUN!

My life has been on a path lately that is leading me towards a plethora of fun. 

Last weekend I spent Mother’s Day with my mom (shocker!), and we planned all of our excursions for our cruise.  Our cruise!  The one we leave for in NINE days!  We have so much scheduled fun ahead of us on that cruise that I’ll need a vacation when I get back just to rest up.  In Haiti my mom and I are doing the world’s longest zip line - just about half a mile.  I think we’re also going on some snorkel thing there as a family.  When we get to Grand Cayman, we’re doing some more family snorkeling over a coral reef and a ship wreck, then my parents are off to shop while I go swim with the stingrays - something that’s making my father supremely nervous, you know, because of “that alligator guy.” Then it’s off to Jamaica.  I really wanted to go cliff diving there, but the port we’re going into is not really all that known for cliff diving, so instead my mom and I are doing the Chukka Canopy Experience (I love that it’s an experience), which basically (I think) amounts to a big ass ropes course through the trees.  Totally right up my ally.  When we get to Cozumel, my dad is going fishing and my mom and I are going to swim with the dolphins.  I didn’t feel like we could do this cruise without some dolphin play (that sounded a bit dirty, don’tcha think?), so even though it’s the most costly thing available, we’ll be riding Flipper. (Now THAT sounded dirty.) After that, we’ve plunked down a small sum to go to some beach.  PAY to go to THE BEACH!?! you say.  Why yes!  Because this beach includes a buffet, a water trampoline (I’m not sure what that is, but it sounds so fun), and most importantly, an open bar. 

See?  I’ll need a few days off when I get home just to recuperate.

In additional fun news, the wonderful Jerilyn is coming to town this weekend for some girlie fun with Pants and myself.  We will be celebrating the elusive Marchmas, which was our way of bailing out of buying gifts for each other around Christmas due to stress and money constraints.  Well, now it’s May.  We’re only two months behind!  Anyway, nothing could be better than a weekend of girls, shopping, and presents, in my opinion.

And in even MORE fun news, I bought my ticket to Wichita yesterday.  I know most people just went, “Wichita, really?” but yes, I enjoy Wichita.  Mostly because the wonderful BCoop resides there.  See, he’s turning 30 in October, and I must be there for the festivities, so as soon as my economic stimulus check arrived, I stimulated the economy by buying a ticket.  Good thing, too, as tickets have gone up almost $50 in the last month.  I’m already excited and it’s months away!

And while this may not seem like fun to anyone but me, I have successfully purchased, painted, and mounted (heh) two shelves in my apartment.  This may not seem like a big deal, but I have problems hanging things straight.  I bought a real level this time (because while laser levels give you a straight line, that straight line is not automatically level).  I have noticed that one of the shelves seems a bit slanted, but upon re-inspection - and by that I mean I climbed back up on the ladder and put the level against the wall on the shelf - it appears the board is just warped a bit.  Nothing to be done there.  Anyway, the shelves are mounted quite high, which made getting them even both horizontally and vertically a big challenge, especially since I was doing it alone and had nobody to help me hold the shelves while I marked where the wall anchors needed to go and all that jazz.  And I did all that on a ladder.  WITHOUT DYING.  So yes.  Shelves are up, shot glasses are on them, and they look pretty darn good.  I plan on buying the wood for the makeshift mantel today, so it can be painted and up by weekend’s end.  The brackets for that are already mounted over my fireplace. 

I am one handy bitch.  And I do it all without a drill.

Posted by amy t. @ 08:06 AM in • Imitation of Life • Stick By 'Em, Stuck With 'Em • The Friday Files · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Monday, May 12, 2008

Just Another Reason I Love My Dad

Yeah, I’d really like to have some color before we leave, but I’ll settle for coming home with color.  My doctor says I need to wear sunscreen all the time and I should put it on twice a day.  He’s been telling me that since my skin cancer, which you’ll probably get, by the way.  So yeah.  I figure I will… after this trip.

I know it was Mother’s Day, but my dad made my day with that comment.

Posted by amy t. @ 04:32 PM in • Hearsay • Stick By 'Em, Stuck With 'Em · (1) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Saturday, May 10, 2008

And Everthing Nice

Ah, Kingwood.  Land of my childhood.  As places go these days, it’s a pretty good place to raise kids.  But sometimes I have to wonder about we Kingwood kids.

First, we made the Letterman Top Ten list for being the second snobbiest high school in America (based on the cars in the parking lot).

Next, we had some teens that were burning down houses of teachers they didn’t like.  One lived on my street, and her house burned to the ground.

Then, we brought you these lovely girls, and shortly after, the movie based on their crime spree, that critically acclaimed hit, Sugar & Spice.  Okay fine.  So “critically acclaimed” is pushing it a bit, but when was the last time a movie was made about you, huh?

And now… Now we bring you these fine upstanding youths.  Kids who disturb me greatly, and yet kids who I have to at least give points to for creativity.  Well, maybe point, not points, because seriously, EW.

Kingwood, land of my past, maybe some of your wealthier residents should invest some money into finding things for the town’s youngsters to do.  There is nothing available to entertain kids there, and so for years we have been forced to create our own fun.

Look how well that’s working out, eh? 

Posted by amy t. @ 03:16 AM in • Imitation of Life · (2) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Friday, May 09, 2008

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Silence To Bring You This (Un)Important Message...

Kanye West sucks.

That is all.

Posted by amy t. @ 02:20 PM in • Bitchfest • Imitation of Life • The Friday Files · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Dear Sun: You're A Fucker

I never thought I’d be so happy to wear a bra.  I mean, I’ve been wearing a bra the last few days, but this one has straps!  See, I got a bitchin’ sunburn this weekend, and I was wearing a strapless top.  The worst bits were the tops of my shoulders and the curve into my neck.  I mean, I was in tears just trying to raise my arms to put my softest shirts on.  I bought my strapless bra at Lane Bryant a while ago, and I have to say - it’s the most comfortable strapless I’ve ever owned.  But after four days?  Not so much.

So yay! Straps! 

Of course, my face is at the molting off stage of the sunburn, but I’ll gladly take looking like a flaky mess if it means getting out of that strapless.

Posted by amy t. @ 07:35 AM in • Dead Letter Office • Imitation of Life · (1) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Friday, April 11, 2008

I Don't Need You, 'Cause I'm Awesome!

Cool feelings.

1.  My gym is half way between home and work.  I left work to go to the gym at lunch.  I was thinking about how happy I was it’s Friday.  Before I knew it, I had passed the gym and was halfway between the gym and my house before I realized that, wait, it’s only lunch, the day isn’t over yet.

2.  Heading back to work, “Let’s Get Retarded” was on the radio. Okay fine, it was the radio version, so “Let’s Get It Started.” When the part came on where normally Fergie wails in the background “r-e-t-a-r-d-e-d!” Imagine how stupid when I belted that shit out as “R-E-T-E-R-D-A-D!”

Barney Stinson has nothing on me.

Posted by amy t. @ 01:05 PM in • Imitation of Life • Lyrically Speaking • The Friday Files · (1) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Can I Get A Little Light In Here?

I’m getting some new lantern things for my living room. There is no lighting in my living room, and I’m getting kinda tired of sitting in the dark.  Thanks to Joelle, I found a cool lantern site, and I’m loving about half the things on it.  I’ve picked out a few that match my living room, and I need help deciding what to get.  This?  This?  What about this? Or this?

I really only have two corners that I can put light in in my living room.  I want the star in the area by the couches.  The other corner has the telly in it.  I am torn as to what to do there.  I mean, on the one hand, I don’t want to be staring at a light bulb if I’m watching tv.  On the other, I would like some light in that area of the room.  I’m thinking of either doing a cluster of lanterns (again, this idea stolen from Joelle) or maybe buying a lantern floor lamp and putting it behind the tv so I get a soft glow coming out from behind the telly but not giving me a direct line of vision to the bulb.  If I do lanterns, I’ll probably do these in all white, all natural, or a white, a natural, and an orange.  If I do a lamp, I’ll probably do this. 

Thoughts? Suggestions?  Any help would be much appreciated.

Posted by amy t. @ 08:50 AM in • Imitation of Life • The Friday Files · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Seriously.

So much for writing every day.  I missed Monday because I was off of work, and the rest of the week has flown by in a super-busy blur.  I should be super-busy right now, but I’m procrastinating.  It’s Friday. It’s allowed.

Last week officially ended the first 90 days of the year.  I said I’d reevaluate my diet plan after that, and here I am.  I did really well with the gym for the first six weeks or so.  Then I had audit prep, then the audit, then the traditional after audit illness that lasted forever.  I got back into the gym nearly a month after leaving, and the next week ended up with a stomach bug that knocked me on my ass.  I felt queasy for several days after that, so there was another week gone from the gym.  Last week? Great.  This week? Yesterday was my first day back. 

My parents have decided that with all the vacation I have this year we should take a vacation together.  The original thought was Aruba, but the more I thought about it the more I decided against it.  Don’t get me wrong - I’d love to go to Aruba.  However, I’m nearly 30.  The thought of going on a vacation alone with my parents is terrifying.  Mostly in a way that screams “They will be in bed by 11 - AND THEY WON’T WANT YOU TROLLING BARS ALONE!” I predicted my dad would begin having nightmares about me being kidnapped, but it was my mom who first brought up Natalie Holloway.  After some discussion, we decided a cruise was our best option.  Lots of fun stuff to do together, and a night life for me that doesn’t have them in fits of worry over me being kidnapped.  We’re leaving from Miami on May 25 and heading to Haiti, Jamaica, Grand Cayman and Cozumel before returning to Miami on June 1.  Just to make it clear, that’s eight days and seven nights.  WITH MY PARENTS.  AND BATHING SUITS.

There is no way I could possibly be what I would consider to be bathing suit ready by May 25.  It just won’t happen.  However, I am taking steps to drop overall weight by then.  I know that a combination of cardio and weights is really the best method to lose weight overall, but it also takes longer, in my opinion.  I’m going back to my exercising roots.  Cardio.  Every time I go to the gym I’m climbing up on the elliptical (or as my father calls it, the ecliptical) for 30 minutes.  And before that?  30 leg lifts, 30 lat crunches, 30 of what I call windmill planks, and 210 crunches in various positions.  So… 300 stomach exercises.  Here’s my thoughts about it all.  My problem area is my tummy.  That’s where I have the hardest time losing weight.  So I’m targeting that with the crunchapalooza.  The leg lifts work my legs, back, and hip flexors.  The elliptical works my legs and butt, and produces overall loss.  Pretty much the only thing I’m not focusing on is my arms.  Although, now that I think about it, the trainer only had me doing arms once a week, so maybe I’ll throw that in.  Weights at the gym mean a shorter workout and less sweat, which is always appreciated. 

I haven’t been all that strict with my diet of late.  The drive thru ban ended April 1, and I celebrated with Wendy’s.  Since then, I’ve been through two other drive thrus.  Well, one actually, the other I went in to the restaurant, but it still counts.  I had Beck’s Prime and Taco Bell this week (ooh, ranchero chicken soft taco, you were as tasty as I remembered you being!) I have decided that starting Monday a lighter version of the ban will come back into play.  I won’t be doing the drive thru just because I don’t feel like cooking (like this week), but I won’t be refusing to go through one either.  Soda has been spotty, too.  I can’t help it.  In general I just don’t like diet drinks.  I usually just drink Coke when I have a hangover, but lately I’ve been drinking it at home just because it’s been there.  NO MORE!  Back to only when hungover and only water in the house. 

What else?  Oh.  Drinking one night a week?  Pshh.

So yeah.  I haven’t been sticking to my rules.  But I still have a plan and I’m trying my best to stick to it.  The one thing I can proudly say is that I haven’t beat myself up too much about all things diet, which is good.  It’s usually the self hate that defeats me and makes me give up. 

I meant to put up a post about this last Friday, but never got around to it.  Therefore, I’m including my loss for the last two weeks below.

Posted by amy t. @ 07:43 AM in • Just Eat It • The Friday Files · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Man. I Rock At This, Don't I?

I had every intention of posting yesterday.  I DID!  Unfortunately, my afternoon exploded with a lengthy and disappointing job interview, last minute things before my boss goes out of town for over a week, and just general work stuff.  So here I am, posting today to make up for my lack of post yesterday.

Of course, this is all you’re getting.  It’s the thought that counts, right?  Riiiiiiiiiight.

I’m about to head out to a crawfish boil armed with Pants, beer and mini cupcakes.  Don’t you wish your day looked like mine?

Posted by amy t. @ 01:11 PM in • Imitation of Life · (1) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Feeling Like A Respectable Grown Up

Last night I had dinner with my parents.  They came to trade cars with me so mine can go to our family car guy without me having to waste a Saturday driving it down to Kingwood.  My parents are paying for my car repairs.  Wait!  Hold on!  I know you just thought, “Respectable grown up, my ass! Parents paying for repairs.  PAH!” But there is a reason, and it is just a loan.  My new Target card has not arrived due to some jackassery from Target.  I had not changed my address in the system before I cut up my card, which wasn’t a problem, since all my bills and statements are delivered online.  But now that I’m ready to have my card delivered, this is a problem.  To change your address you must have the security code on your card to confirm it’s really you trying to change the address.  So here I am, with no card, so I can’t change my address, and the wrong address, so they can’t send me a card.  If I haven’t received my card by the time my final payment clears, which should be tomorrow, I will just call and cancel my card and open a new one with the correct address. 

Anyway, my parents are paying for the repairs for this reason, and I will add them to my bill calendar and pay them monthly as I can afford it until it’s paid off.  During the conversation about all this, I mentioned that I have another card (read: d’oh!) and my dad did his dad thing and started asking me a billion questions about why I wasn’t just putting the repairs on that card.  Without mentioning that I am only $100 from my limit, and without mentioning what my actual limit is, I said that I owed more than I felt comfortable owing and somehow managed to convey my plan of paying off my debt in a way that made me sound fiscally responsible.  There was no defensiveness, no yelling or tears (which is good, as we were in a restaurant), and my parents actually seemed impressed at my drive to pay down everything. 

That is the first time in my life that’s ever happened.  And that?  That makes me realize just how far I’ve come in my attitudes about money and responsibility in recent years.  Recently, if given a decision between having my fingernails ripped out with pliers and discussing finances with my father, dad would win, but just barely.  It would have been a really tough call.  But last night, to come out of that discussion not only in tact, but smiling and tear free?  Amazing.

Posted by amy t. @ 03:07 PM in • Imitation of Life • Stick By 'Em, Stuck With 'Em · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Victory Is Mine!

Dear Target,

Ha, I say.  HA!  I have once again managed to pay off my entire balance with you.  It took me about four months, but I did it.  Granted, a lot of that came from a large tax refund, but still.  Money is money, as you know, and I have sent you plenty of it lately.  And so, it is with great joy that I sent you my last payment. 

Of course, that joy will be short lived, as I need work done on my car and my Target Visa is my only option for payment.  But today? Today I will rejoice.

I am also rejoicing at the two cute swimsuit tops I found in your depths yesterday, and lamenting the adorable cover-up that I couldn’t really afford but that I could have also have worn as a cute dress with flip flops.  But the tops?  REJOICE! 

So thanks for hooking me up yesterday and please, for the love of God, do NOT raise my balance as a result of me paying everything off!  I HATE when you do that!  It’s just greater temptation to spend!

Keep it on the down low,

MissDirected

PS: Sorry for the choppy flow of this letter.  I’m on the phone with Comcast as I write, and typing and listening to an automated menu make for a choppy post.

Posted by amy t. @ 09:03 AM in • Dead Letter Office · (1) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I Guess My Writer's Strike Is At An End

So.  I’m back.  I have no readers left probably, but here I am anyway.  I’m trying to get back into things, so I’m going to try to post every week day in April.  We’ll see how it goes.  First, some catching up.

I had two fabulous weekends in March.  Weekend one involved lots of time with Ms. Pants.  Beers on the patio, darts, making a man feel his penis size was inferior… good times.  Here’s a hint guys:  Don’t wear an “Everything is bigger in Texas” shirt when in Texas, because we Texan girls will be quick to point out that it is SO not true.  We even had the guy’s girlfriend agreeing with us, poor guy.  Anyway, we got properly toasted and had a blast doing it.  The next day we two girls headed to the rodeo for shopping with Kizmo.  I did really well.  I went with $40 and only put $20 on my credit card.  That $20 was for a perfect gift for someone, and I only had to do that because I had the nerve to eat a barbeque sammich and have a beer - to the tune of $14.  Yeah, that’s right.  One sammich.  One beer.  $14.  I bought myself a bracelet and some of the world’s greatest fudge, and that’s it.  Dear Mom & Dad:  I finally get that “money doesn’t grow on trees” thing, but I still wish it did.

The next weekend (was it the next weekend? I think it was the next weekend.) Guppie came down for a visit.  She arrived at a decent time on Friday and she, Pants and myself headed out to O’Malley’s.  It wasn’t too crowded and I actually like the bartender on Friday nights (the only bartender I still like there, and she’s quitting - BOOOO!) and we had a very good time.  We all seemed pretty good in the morning, and we went on a marathon shopping spree.  I bought some very cute shoes at DSW, but after all the other spending I decided to be responsible and take them back.  My credit card balance thanks me.  We went to Charming Charlie’s since Guppie had never been there, and I ended up with four fabulous rings (one didn’t photograph well), a pair of earrings, and a great pair of sunglasses that were sitting on the counter where someone had decided not to purchase them.  Their loss, my gain.  Finally we headed to Ross.  I scored big there.  Two cute summer dresses that can be worn to work or with flip flops.  Some glasses for my house because for some reason I never have glasses in the cupboard.  Some dish towels because I threw my old yucky ones away when I moved and kept forgetting to buy new ones.  A great pair of wedge sandals, which is hard for me to say, because in general I don’t like wedges.  Yeah, it was a great shopping day, but more importantly, it was a great day with my girls.  I missed them both.

Easter was low key.  Just dinner with my mom and dad.  The day after Easter I had a vicious stomach bug.  Last week passed in a blur.  And this weekend was pretty low key, which I kind of needed.  I pretty much laid on my couch and watched Buffy on dvd all weekend.  Well, at least until my fucking dvd player broke.  Then I moved into my bed, where I continued to watch Buffy on dvd. 

I lead an exciting life, don’t I?

Anyway, April has arrived and there is a ton happening this month.  At least I’ll have something to write about.  Who knows.  Maybe even some old friends and lurkers will stop by to read about all that stuff.

You know what?  It kinda feels good to be back.

Posted by amy t. @ 02:25 PM in • Imitation of Life · (3) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Slow Sow Slow

Dear Today,

If you would speed through these last 15 minutes, I’d really appreciate it.  After spending most of my afternoon in the midst of monumental fuckups and panic attacks, time seems to have stopped.  The morning last 1,000 years, so I don’t find it fair that you are ending the day the way you began it.  After all that time in turmoil, it was decided that my fuckup had really found a bigger problem with one of our systems, and now the wheels are in motion to change things.  I think I deserve a job well done, really, despite all the trouble I caused. 

Therefore, I’d like you to reward me by speeding up so I can get out of here.  You know I’d just leave, but my VP is here working late on some equipment, and he keeps flitting past my desk.  Okay, “flitting” isn’t the right word.  He keeps coming by and waiting for me to talk to him, which means he stops and stares at me for at least a minute and then he turns into my dad and starts digging through all my stuff trying to elicit a response from me.  I just pretend I don’t notice (though inside I’m FUMING at that digging) and he eventually wanders away.  But anyway, he’s here.  And he knows I’m supposed to be here until six.

So help a girl out, would ya? 

Aaaaaaaaaaand GO!,

MissDirected

Posted by amy t. @ 04:45 PM in • Dead Letter Office • For The Money · (0) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·

Friday, March 14, 2008

If I'm Gonna Have A Brutal Flashback, I'd Rather It Be Acid Related

This is not something that EVER needed to be brought back into society. 

Seriously.  What are designers thinking these days?

Posted by amy t. @ 02:29 PM in · (1) Comments · (0) Trackbacks ·