Has Anybody Seen My Lung?
Dear Cough,
I am writing to say that I am officially over you. That’s right. I. Am over. YOU. I haven’t had a decent night of sleep in three weeks. Just last night I fell asleep around 11:30, woke up at 2, coughed and cried and coughed until 3:30, and then finally relented and got out of bed. I turned the air down, got some water, took some pirin tablets, and climbed back in bed. Only after all that moving around, I was awake. And so it was that I watched the minutes slowly tick down until it was time for me to get up. The last time I saw the clock before falling into fitful sleep, it was 5:37.
I am a zombie at work these days. I really feel like the walking dead. I’m pretty sure I only have one lung left in my chest, as surely the other one has disintegrated and slowly been being expelled during these coughing fits. I know I have at least one lung left because, well, a) I’m still half alive and breathing, and b) I can feel that annoying tickle itch thing right at the top of my right lung.
I fear I must learn to coexist with you, Cough. If that is the case, I have but one request. If you could just let me have at least one full night of sleep a week, I will stop complaining. Just give me one. That’s all I ask. I think the terms I’m setting forth are reasonable, so leave me the fuck alone tonight, would ya?
Hoping that this, my friend, is what they call closure,
MissDirected
